How is Frugality Defined

For weeks now Ive been wanting to approach this topic. I just don't know quite how to go about it. If you admit you're not hurting in the financial arena then you're bragging. To be poor is much more acceptable. You are humble when you are poor. People pity you when you are poor; they empathize with you. When you are free from financial obligations people think you cant possibly relate to them so you who are comfortable financially downplay the comfortable part to make yourselves more palatable to the less comfortable crowd. Are you clicking off of here yet? I bet you are. But hang with me here.

We, the Darlings are not rich by any means; but neither are we poor. That makes us very comfortably a part of Americas middle class. They say the middle class is disappearing, being swallowed up by the upper and lower classes. If the middle class does become extinct which side would we fall on? I mean we have to go somewhere. Would the fact that we are out of debt including our mortgage, tilt us toward the upper class? But how can we be part of the upper crust when we don't have millions of dollars and my husband has to work a blue collar job?

I've been thinking about all this as I've been perusing blogs and I've been wondering why there are so many blogs out there on frugality? Is frugality only for those who have to be frugal?

I happen to be in a unique position; middle class yet retaining the knowledge and the ability to be self sustaining as a family if the need arose. So how does the middle class spell frugality? What does it look like to the middle class?

I don't need food banks and co-ops to put food on my table. I don't have to shop the thrift stores unless I feel like it just for the fun of the hunt. I don't have to garage sale. I don't have to wait on the Presidents kicker check to pay bills nor do I need the tax refund to keep me afloat for awhile. I owe this to Gods blessing and to my husband who works hard to provide for us and who takes care of all the bills.

So what does frugality look like to me? I practice being frugal in small ways. I suppose most of my savings happen in the kitchen. I cook meals from scratch. We buy bulk foods and I store them in canisters that are 25 years old. We seldom eat out but then again I realize seldom is a relative word. I would guess we eat out about twice a month. I can and freeze and grow a lot of my own food. Does this make me frugal?

Another way I save money is on my hair and shampoos. I'm quite content with $.98 shampoos. I have my hair colored only twice a year when most of my girlfriends have their hair salon colored at least four times a year. But is this frugality when I have my nails done every three weeks?

I'm also frugal in that I drive old cars. Now my cars are very dependable and nice but one of them is a 1993 Honda Accord and the other is a 1997 Ford Expedition. We bought the Honda used about ten years ago and the Expedition we bought spanking new in October of '96. We paid cash for both vehicles. Our savings come into play when you realize that the Expedition is 11 years old and only has 50,000 miles on it. We bought because so much of our family lives hours away and we wanted a comfortable, roomy vehicle to travel in. Tink was due that December so it was sort of a celebration gift to ourselves. But the fact remains I have an SUV! How is this frugal?

We live in a house that is 25 years old when we could afford a gorgeous home much better than this one. Does that make me more godly than the person who lives in a mansion?

Could you say Im frugal because I never shop high end stores or is frugality found only in the yard sales and thrift stores? If I pay $100 for an unnecessary item, such as a picture for my wall, and some one else buys a picture for their wall off of Craigslist and they only pay $10 for it, am I less frugal then they are? Your first thought would be that the one who bought off of craigslist is the most frugal but a closer look might prove you wrong.

If I spend one hundred dollars but I have a thousand dollars in my account that is strictly mad money, meaning all the bills and all the credit cards are paid off, there's money in savings and in retirement and college funds, the pantries are stocked with food - if that is the case for me then am I less frugal then the one that paid ten dollars but is in debt and has no idea where groceries and gas money are coming from the next week?

Have you thought about this stuff? Is there godliness in frugality? Is there more virtue in being frugal then in paying full price even though you can afford it? Is the frugal person who is in debt on a higher moral plain then the person who is not frugal but owes no man anything?

Are we placing virtue where virtue is not due? Are we applauding the poor man for his savings at the grocery counter and looking down on the man that was once so poor he had to drink powdered milk that was 3/4 water but now he is buying rich cream at full price?

Do we ever think that the family we see living comfortably may have gone through lean years to achieve that comfort? Do you ever take a close honest look at your poorer state and realize that it's not all life's hard knocks that put you there but a lot of poor choices along the way have also contributed? Do you not realize that the people you see living more comfortably than you have also had just as many setbacks but they handled them differently?

Does it ever dawn on anyone that hard work pays dividends in the end and its not how much you make but how much you spend that determines where you are financially? Do we understand that a millionaire can be poor if he mishandles his money and that a poor man can be rich if he wisely counts each penny?

I've asked more questions then I've answered. Do you want to know what I think? I think being frugal is synonymous with being responsible. Frugal living gets you to where you want to be in life if you are frugal with both hands. If the right hand is spending money but the left hand is being frugal there is nothing to gain from frugality. But, I caution you not to place your perception of frugality on another individual. What is frugal for one is not frugal for another. I fear frugality has become a thing of piety among us. Think about that for a minute and you may see the truth in it.

On one of the blogs someone defined my lifestyle when they were defining their own. She said, "We have all of what we need and some of what we want." I agree with that. I would say that rightly sums up where we are in life.

What do you think? Is frugality over glorified among us or is frugality a virtue of great worth? What does being frugal mean to you? What does it look like in your household? Are you blessed because you followed the principles for financial freedom and now you are ashamed to admit you're blessed lest someone think you're boasting? If you are very frugal do you know why you are being frugal? Is there a goal? Where is your frugality getting you? Do you think about these things?

Invariably when I post things like this I get twenty and ten emails from people who think I am talking about them. Lest anyone think that this time let me link you to the post that inspired this one. Its found at Like Merchant Ships